STRUGGLES OF STAYING UP LATE TO READ

YOU CANNOT TELL ME that you are a bookworm but you don’t stay up late to read

I’m sorry, you just can’t.

I consider myself a pretty accepting person.  But if you call yourself a bookworm and have never stayed up late to read, you might as well be a book that has been thrown in a muddy puddle.

 

IT BEGINS

8:30

You’re with your family, and you remember that you have a job to do.  aka you have a huge book to finish.  So you say…

“I’m SUPER tired everyone, I think I’m going to bed now.  Goodnight!”

But you lie.  You aren’t tired.  You’ve probably scheduled at least three naps throughout the day so that you are not tired.  I mean, you ARE going in your bed.  You’re just not going to… sleep in your bed??  At least not for a few hours.

According to bookworms, beds aren’t really a place for reading, more of a place for reading.

This bed is used for getting a good night’s sleep for 30% of the time, and for reading 70% of the time.

(wow i can do math guys)

But most bookworms snuggle into their covers, but I don’t believe in that???

I throw off all the pillows that are asking for back pain and solely for decorative purposes.  For example, that unicorn pillow??? Try sitting on that one, I dare you.  Take my advice from experience.

Then I sit ON TOP of all my covers because I don’t necessarily want to fully destroy my made bed yet.  Maybe I’ll bring out my mermaid tail blanket it I get cold in my sweatshirt, but who gets cold in a sweatshirt?

I pick up my book, and flip to the page that I dog eared.  Because who has time for bookmarks honestly?

I analyze where I am in the book, and I always, always ALWAYS tell myself I can finish the book tonight for sure!

If I stay up 5 hours and read at least 80 pages per hour.

I usually finish my books in hundreds.  I read about 100 pages per night, maybe more if I physically cannot out it down.  Or if I’m paralyzed and there is no possible way I can put the book down without help.

 

 

THE READING

8:45

I read a couple of chapters.  Sure, I’m interrupted a few times by my idiotically adorable cat, who bats the book out of my hand and demands attention.

WHO SAYS NO TO THIS FLUFFBALL

But then the distraction comes.

I am reading, and for some reason I zone out.  Maybe I’m looking at something distracting in my room.  Maybe I’m chanting band lyrics in my head because I am band trash.  But for some reason, I read the SAME PARAGRAPH over and over again yet I still don’t process the words??

And then I have the deepest thoughts.

My thoughts at that moment are so deep, the lifeguard at the pool tells you to be careful.

My thoughts are so deep, they fry the best in the deep fryer.

(i’m sorry  xD  )

But I think the following deep thoughts

• if you’re at a restaurant waiting for the waiter aren’t you the waiter
• the brain named itself
• why are the called apartments if they’re so close together
• if you’re a security guard at a samsung store are you the guardian of the galaxy
• isn’t it weird how we have voices in our head like the one you just used to read this
• how do you die in your living room
• do clothes in china say made around the corner or something
• is a group of squids called a squad
• when you clean the vacuum you are the vacuum cleaner
• if tomatoes are a fruit isn’t ketchup a smoothie
• do you think sand is called sand because it’s in between sea and land

 

 

THE PARENT COMES

10:00-12:00

You’re reading.  You hear the TV turn off.  You hear your father of mother get up from their chair and you hear their footsteps on the carpet.

Quicker than you’ve ever moved during gym class, you throw your poor book across your room, it skids across the carpet.  The parental footsteps come closer and closer to check on you.  They’re mostly checking to make sure you didn’t get kidnapped, but they’re also coming to make sure you’re face isn’t glued to your book.  But it is.

Most parents check to make sure they’re not texting or watching Youtube so late, but mine… they want to make sure I’m not READING.

You throw everything on your bed off, maybe accidentally your cat in the process, dive under the covers, and think of the most natural position.

Maybe… lying down so your facing the ceiling?

No, too generic.

Drooling and face buried in the pillow?

Now you’re trying to hard!

You don’t have time.  The time is ticking.  If you don’t close your eyes now, they will catch you in the act.  Of reading a book in the middle of the night.  On a… SCHOOL NIGHT.

And this is how you end up:

and you either find yourself in one of two situations:

situation one:

you are dead silent.  you breathe slowly and steadily, squeezing your eyes shut.  You hear your parent close your door and dim the lights a bit more.

situation two:

you do all that, but once you think they are gone, YOU OPEN YOUR EYES fool.

“What do you think you’re doing?”  you hear their voice and fear runs through your spine…

“Um…  I was, uh, reading,”

“But it’s late!”

stating the obvious, you think,

“Yeah, er… sorry.  One last chapter, please!”

“Alright then.  It’s late, and you have school in the morning, finish up!”

“I know, I’ll get to sleep soon,”

 

MORE LIES

when you said, “Yeah, er… sorry.  One last chapter, please!”

you know you meant, “I’ll read to THE last chapter!”

Because really, I don’t care if you’re the future president of the united states, NO ONE may tell me to put down my book.  It will not happen.  Not one person can do it.

So do you really thing MY PARENTS CAN DO IT?  Heck to the no?

I will read my book as long as I see fit.  I will read until dawn.  I will burrow in my closet and scare the death out of you, reading, so I don’t have to go to school.  I’m mostly an obedient smol child but when you tell me that I cannot READ I will become a jedi master.

Because I will rebel.  And I will DO IT WELL.

YOUR EYES BETRAY YOU

it’s late.

ok, yeah.  We’ve established that it’s late sam.  NOW who’s stating to obvious huh???

but at this point, your body is going through some weird ish.  You feel your eyes droop?? You feel compelled to burrow under the covers or just sleep.

Your eyes are sticking together.  Your eyes are the complete opposite of any couple in hollywood.

Your eyes are straight up all the ships you have ever made before from your books.

BECAUSE THEY BELONG TOGETHER.  

but you can’t resist.  it turns out you aren’t as good of a rebel as you thought you were, because suddenly you can’t fight anymore.  You’re like whoever died in the last star wars movie.

and you realize that you can’t do this anymore.  you see that you are IN DENIAL.

so with fumbling hands, you close the book, don’t even dare to look at the time and…

SLEEP.

 

I wanna know if you stay up late to read.  what book has ever made you stay up late to read?  and most importantly, DID YOU RELATE?? Because I need to know!!  Talk to me please I’m lonely  xD