I know what you’re thinking…
“Um Sam…I don’t think books are the thing that make me virtuous..”
Excuse me?! If you’re thinking this, you don’t have the virtue of humility!
Books are the reasons that bookworms are such good people. People who have no literature are uneducated pieces of rude scum. (Me? Hating non readers?? No…..)
But lets think of the top virtues…
I could literally use up all of my WordPress storage space just by writing about how patient we bookworms are.
But literally, just think about it!!
We spend so much time and energy reading our book, it’s like we’re in a very close relationship with this one book. We bring it to school with us, we kiss it, we hug it, we introduce it to our cats… We spend so much time with it, it’s like we’re dating books.
And then we’re done. We’re over. It could either be a mutual decision, like, “Hey sorry, but I think we’re done. We need to start reading other books. It was great while you lasted though. I got a blank space on my bookshelf for you though.”
OR it could be a horrible breakup, “You gave me nothing! You never did anything for me! How could you be so lazy? All I wanted was a satisfying ending… and now it looks like the story of us is ending!”
BOOM TWO TAYLOR SWIFT REFERENCES.
You never know how you’re going to break up with a book!
Another aspect is how we bookworms wait forever for new books to come out.
Shannon Messenger, I’m looking at you.
I’m pretty dang sure we all know the struggles of cliffhangers, but that’s a whole ‘nother post, because I can’t get any more rant-y about those. *composes herself*
So we read an amazing, life changing book. And one of the following happens:
- The ending sucks and there isn’t a sequel
- THE NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES COMES OUT IN A YEAR
And we have to wait! Sure, we cry for days, and consume an unhealthy amount of nutella over it, (but let’s be honest, we consume an unhealthy amount anyways!!?) but we still have to wait and learn to deal with it. It rips our heart apart.
And then the reward for all our patience comes, and we finish that book in literally like 3 days. 362 days to go until the next one. Yooo hoo.
EVERY SINGLE TIME. Every single time we open a book, you have high expectations, right?! You hope that the book will change your life, or make you laugh.
We bookworms have standards. And we expect, (or as I would say, hope,) that the books we read meet those standards, right?!
So we have hope built inside of us. No matter how ugly the cover is, we have hope for what’s on the inside. That’s all that matters!
you hypocrite sam
Our hope is crushed so often, yet we still hope for that perfect book, and sometimes OUR PATIENCE is rewarded.
It is sooo easy to spoil a book. It can just spill out of you, and you aren’t even aware.
It’s just like you’re spilling the spoiled beans, and then then the person you spilled spoiled beans onto is pretty mad at you, because nobody wants spoiled beans on their books!
But we learn how much it tears out our hearts, darkens our days, and leaves us in a sad, heap of a worm on the floor. Our book is officially spoiled. It’s rotten, it’s dead to us.
So when we are about to spoil the book, without even knowing it, we just bite our lips. A bookworm’s lips have holes in them. We do our own lip piercing.
So instead of spilling beans, we’re disciplining ourselves.
Another example, reading ahead.
You know that moment when you’re like, “Oh I’ll just read ahead a few hundred pages, I’m sure it’ll be just random dialogue that has nothing to do with the story!”
Of course, because it’s MY bookish life, I always “accidentally” read the page where someone dies or the couple I ship finally kiss. It’s like spoiling it for ourselves.
So while we read, we develop this sense, almost. It’s like we physically can’t turn the page past the next page we’re supposed to read like the good child that we cost definitely are not.
So yes, we bookworms develop discipline.
All you bookworms reading this, if all else fails, you can always be a judge, because we bookworms give justice to our books.
If a book is horrid, and it was like a rotten piece of cantaloupe or avocado, we will tell EVERY. PERSON. WE. KNOW. (of course that’s not very many people because we have limited social skills but STILL.)
We will give the book what it deserves. I will only speak of it’s name in vain, I will throw that piece of disgust under the bookmobile. I will give it justice. I’m like a book gossip girl. Like, I’ll tell all of it’s dirty secrets. (I won’t spoil it though, we just went over that.)
HOWEVER, if the book changed my life, that is all I will talk about.
So in a conversation I’ll be like, “Oh, your dog died? That’s tough. But I read this book the other day, and…”
Bookworms work HARD.
We carry so many books. Yes mom, I will read all of these 873 books on vacation.
If you’re a logical human being, you know that carrying that many books get you RIPPED. And they’re not even paperbacks! Who cares about lifting weights, I’ll lift books while reading them all day.
Now THAT’S a gym class I would want to take. They’re all doing pushups and I’m lifting all my hardcover books, guess who’s getting the better workout?? Me.
Let’s all stop pretending that this has never happened to us before:
So you’re reading a book, (no duh,) and there’s this really horrible situation, and you’re trying so hard not to cry this time, because you know that if you DO, the pages of your book will be stained. With your tears.
But not this time, you tell yourself, NO.
You will be Strong.
and then you cry anyways.
Maybe that wasn’t the best example. It just brought back bad memories.
are you a virtuous bookworm? did you relate to anything? any more virtues that bookworms have? talk to me in the comments!