Twila’s Guide To Being an Indoor Cat

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Hello there lesser-ones.  Usually, Samantha would be typing this, but today, I am taking over.  So, I decided to tell all of you how I manage the great feat of being an indoor cat.  I have a few tips and tricks up my.. uh..paw, I guess so that is what I will be sharing with you all today!

1.  Covet the Treats

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COVET THE TREATS.  WORSHIP THE TREATS.  BOW TO THE TREATS.  GULP DOWN THE TREATS.  THEY ARE THE BEST THING IN THIS WORLD I SWEAR.

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2.  WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!

And how do you get those treats?  Simply jump onto your sleeping owner’s body at about the time on the clock above.

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3.  You are The Pharoh

Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats.  I think they had the right idea.  But sometimes, other cats might be trying to take your place.  Just be sure to enforce it on them so they don’t get the wrong idea. Like this:

imageI AM THE PHAROH!

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I AM THE PHAROH!

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I AM THE PHAROH!

 

4.  Express your art everywhere

As you can see, I am quite the artist.  First, on the striped chair, it is obviously an exact replica of Vincent Van Gogh’s, Starry night.  And on that chair, I also replicated the Mona Lisa.  You can also express your creativity, as I did with the expressive licks on the stick of butter, creating one of Picasso’s finest works, and with my food as well.

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5.Generally Cause Mischief

For example, when you see a glass of water like the one above, and you see an expensive human phone nest to it, I think, Oh, even better!

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That’s all I have for you today.  I hope that all the cats reading now know how to better their lives and that all the humans reading now know to buy more treats.

-Twila Bells

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17 thoughts on “Twila’s Guide To Being an Indoor Cat

    1. Aww, thanks so much! And thank you for featuring me on your post! ( I showed Twila some of the kitten and cats you have on your farm, and she told me that she says that if they don’t eat the same type of treats as her, they cannot be trusted.)

      Liked by 1 person

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